ORIGINAL HE-MAN
Own the Most Powerful Piece of Thom's Childhood!
Now you can literally own a piece of co-host Thom's childhood - by buying his very own original vintage He-Man figure!
YES it was literally Thom's, back from the early 1980s.
YES it has the name 'Tommy' scrawled in Sharpie on the bottom, Toy Story style.
NO he doesn't stand up great on his own.
NO he doesn't come with his bipplevest or weapons.
YES you can support your new favorite He-Man podcast
YES your own core memories will be unlocked.
FLACCID TRAP JAW
It Happens to Every Evil Warrior!
As seen in the He-Man and the Masters of the Universe episode "The Diamond Ray of Disappearance" - and as commented on ad nauseum on the Castle Podskull podcast! It's TRAP JAW - unrepentant badass, except for when He-Man turns his already phallic arm weapons into a flaccid useless appendages.
SHADOW BEAST
The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shadow Beast Skin!
As seen in the He-Man and the Masters of the Universe episode 'Teela's Quest' - and as mercilessly mocked on the Castle Podskull podcast! A monster with 10 out of 10 scary looks but 2 out of 10 sounds. His weird high-pitched screech and his sick keytar slide in the background made us think that he'd really only be home in a hair metal group in Denmark in 1985. Hence his wrist chains, purple-yellow tights, and one weird boot!
FABULOUS FARM-OR
Random Rural Target of Skeletor's Stony Aggression!
From Filmation Masters of the Universe Episode 3 - COLOSSOR AWAKES! - comes the beloved cameo, available for the first time in dubious action figure form! Is the suspiciously jacked, pink-T wearing farmer that Skeletor turns to stone just an unlucky passerby? Or is he a specific target of the Evil Warriors' aggression? Perhaps an ex-Royal Guard retired to his farm to live out the rest of his life in peace - only to get dragged back in.... one.... last.... time...?? Maybe just one of Skeletor's many ex-lovers? You decide! with FARM-OR!!
JITSU (Fleshy Variant)
Minorly Deformed, Ethnically Offensive Evil Warrior!
"Hello, Evil Warrior Temp Agency? Yes, it's Skeletor. I had a Warrior call in sick today and it just so happens to be the day of my Dragon Invasion. Can you help me?... Oh you have the perfect man? Great! Does he have magic?... No. Does he shoot lasers from his eyes or hands?... Um, okay, no. Does he have spikes, is he some kind of beastly aberration, or does he have the power to control useful animals?.... All no. What DOES he have?... One slightly enlarged hand. And he's an ethnic stereotype?... Right.... I mean... Oh, you'll give him to me half off? Well, beggars can't be choosers. I'll give your Jitsu a try."
KING HELIOS
Slightly See-Through Ruler of the Fire People!
From the Filmation cartoon He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, episode 5, Curse of the Spellstone - as mocked in the podcast Castle Podskull (youtube / unpreciousstudios). King Helios is one of those one-off characters who you nevertheless wanted as a child - you could imagine a semi-transparent red action figure who glowed when you held him up to light. Would have been easy! Alas, you will have to deal instead with our very poorly made replacement. Ingredients include a clear Venom body, flames from MOTU Vecna, paint, hot glue, and some random armor pieces.
OLLO THE APE KING
Simple-minded simian sultan of the past!
To be clear: this is a modified, customized action figure done by amateurs. You're buying to support the CASTLE PODSKULL show and have a unique piece of it!
CASTLE PODSKULL: Join Thom (Prof X-Ennial) and Kevin (Fan-At-Arms) in discussing every episode of the 1980s Filmation cartoon classic - THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE! We discuss if this episode of the show beloved in our childhood is as RAD or as MANLY as we remember it, or if it's instead CHEEZY or INAPPROPRIATE or maybe even a touch HOMOEROTIC? We also explore the MORAL LESSON of the show - and most importantly, "what ACTION FIGURE does it make us want to buy??"
Listen and watch on youtube and wherever podcasts are heard!